Hung out with Jason Levasseur last night!

Had a wicked good time. I watched his show then we went to the Bear Brew for a little bit. Then the rest is history. He seemed to be doing well. Just as cute as ever.

I'm going camping tonight in Lamoine. Hopefully it will lift my spirits and get me geared up for the rest of the semester. I have pretty much come to the conclusion that school really isn't my cup of tea. I think I just want to start my career to bad. Get out of this state, start a life that wasn't expected of me. I'm ready to surprise people. Maybe I should start by getting all A's in school. Haha...too much work:)

I'm trying, i'm really trying...

I finally started my dreads. Three cheers for finally doing something I have wanted to do forever!

got my new car. 2002 pontaic sunfire. it's tan. ewww. tan. oh well. guess i should just be quiet.

going out with the girls tonight. should be a good time. hopefully.

yesterday i thought gabe got hit by a car because someone on a bike did. it happened right after i left him and he was on a bike. i was pretty scared. i pretty much flipped out. guess you really don't know how much someone means to you until you think you've lost them or something has happened to them. glad he is okay. i hope i never have to feel that much negative emotion for awhile. it was exhausting. i'm still tired.

he said i looked good. oh man, my heart is trembling.

So my sister and I are no longer talking. She got mad at me and called me selfish. She also said to not talk to her again until I grew up. This happened on my birthday and technically I won't grow up for another year. Or at least my age won't change. So I get a year off! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited:) She is the type of person to provide stress when you don't need it...and then again, she provides it all the time. I'm tired of walking on eggshells with her. It's like a constant battle. So I'm going to take this year as a blessing and enjoy the peace and quiet. I'm not really sad. My mom didn't talk to her sister for 4 years. Looks like that will happen with me and Celina too. I'm done though. I broke up with her completely. Too bad not all breakups end this easily!

I'm sitting on the mall playing the Eagles really loud and probably pissing people off. It's gorgeous out. I'm in a brand new outfit, brand new earrings, just chillin. I'm pretty content today. Maybe it's because I have the next two days off, or maybe because I get to see him today. Who knows. I don't mind though.

i'm in a fiona apple mood
"gonna make a mistake, gonna do it on purpose. gonna waste my time. cuz' i'm full as a tick and i'm scratching at the surface."

tons of couple walking holding hands. Yuck! I wonder if the girls know that the guy doesn't really want to be holding her hand..he wants to look cool just in case he sees one of his buddies. He's just doing it to keep her quiet. HAHA

brrr..it's getting cold out. the air is starting to smell like fall. i love fall most of the time. usually when i have someone to keep me warm. this will be the first fall in a long time that i haven't had anyone to do just that. but as gloria gaynor says.."i will survive" but i'm telling ya, there is nothing better than going apple picking, doing hayrides, halloween and the smell of pumpkins, apples and leaves. ahhh...fall. almost as nice as spring. winter is supposed to be bad this year but i don't mind. i have a few fun weekends planned. going to visit my friend chris in nh the end of october. then i'm going to visit umass not long after that.

going car shopping tomorrow. yippee. hopefully i find something other than a sunfire because that's all my parents have been able to find. i'll be on the lookout for something a little less obvious.

not toomuch of an update because i'm sitting outside and my fingers are freezing together.

random thought...

everyone at work today saw my legs. i don't shave. they freaked out!!! losers:) it was funny though. can't wait to see the expression on their faces when i get my dreads. haha.

3 years ago today Fred Rimmele passed away. he was onboard flight 175 that was hijacked and flown into the second tower. This post is for him. For his memory, for his life. He worked with my mom for a number of years and was one of the most kind hearted souls I have ever met. There is a garden located in Fairfield dedicated to him started by my mother that people can go visit. For anyone who lost someone in 9/11 my thoughts are with you. And for you Fred, I miss you! We all miss you!

you can see a picture of him by going to my alt webpage, http://www.fotolog.net/winterandkiwi/

remember kids, support our troops, not bush

fred rimmele
september 11, 2001

today was...a day.

slept through my classes again. being sick sucks. i couldn't pull myself out of bed. sounds like a dumb excuse but it's true. some mornings i have to use all my energy just to lift my head. let alone get out of bed, take a shower and head to orono. hopefully this won't last long. i don't know if i can take it.

mike ditched today. tomorrow was our date. it's okay though. things are still going well. dave is going to be my sit in date for the evening and i'll probably have just as much fun, if not more.

i saw john edwards speak today. well i didn't see it, i heard it. gabe was with me and was able to see him since he is so tall but little ole short me just couldn't do it. the speech was okay. not like what i expected from such a public person. it's weird to think i could have done better. but i am also majoring in giving speeches. bring it on edwards:)

tim reynolds...what can i say about tim reynolds? i saw him in concert tonight and it was fucking amazing. he is a god. with or without dave matthews. trust me i will have sweet dreams tonight.

found out jason levasseur is playing at umaine on tuesday. i'm pretty excited to have him back on my turf again. should be a great night of music and beer. he is always good for that.

even though i slept all day i'm tired again. sleep brings the peace i find hard to acquire during the daylight.

All of a sudden I felt the need to vomit, or maybe yell, scream, punch someone. All because she was walking behind me. All because she entered my personal space. Has she entered enough of my things? First she entered the love of my life, and now my space? Ahh! I'm just overeacting obviously but I can't shake the image from my mind. Her and Gabe. Getting it on. I am so much better than this, why is it that I hate her. I hate her with such a passion I can't even describe. Maybe it's because if she had never walked into his life, maybe just maybe we could have gotten back together. Maybe it's because she's skinny and I feel threatened and insecure. She just makes me feel anger in me that I have never felt before. All because she fucked the guy I was in love with. Go figure.

Birthday went well. I'm 21 now. Big whoop.

Too angry to talk

School has officially started. I'm sitting in the Union waiting to go on a long awaited motorcycle ride, trying to do some homework. It's amazing how Orono becomes another city within the matter of a couple days. The first week of school is going pretty well. Nothing thus far to complain about. I am taking 19 credits and all my classes seem to be pretty interesting. My Public Relations course rules. The teacher is pretty cool and the material is very exciting. Geeky huh? Oh well. Makes me realize that my career choice is going to be a good one. No more second guessing myself. Being in school has this odd feeling to it. I'm constantly looking around at people seeing if I know them or maybe I should know them. So far it's been great to get back into the swing of things with my friends. I didn't realize how many friends I had until I didn't have someone occupying my time. It's nice to have time now to hang out, party, etc. Finally fun. Not that dating someone in college isn't fun. It's only fun when you don't lose yourself. And lost myself I did. Big time. But anywho, school is good. Social life is good. Work life is still Dysart's. Can't really say anything more or less. Maybe I should do some work. Yah, probably.

Birthday in two days!

tonight i had a phone conversation that was awesome. it only lasted a few minutes but man. i felt that pit in my stomach. i thought i was going to throw up. trust me though, it was great. it was the good kind of sickness. it was the, yes i'm talking to a boy sickness! the conversation was amazing. and finally, i felt butterflies again. it's been so long. it's about time! so next thursday the day. i can't wait. my first real date since the breakup with me and gabe. i've wanted to do this for awile and now i get to. hopefully i have even more exciting news next week! yes! happy birthday to me:)

happy birthday to ian! #22 buddy:)
miss you! and congrats on your medals, you did excellent. i'll be there in 2012, promise. love ya kid!

night folks:)
sweet dreams finally