December 16, 2006

So you tell me that you're fine
You tell me everything is okay
You swore to me that was the truth
I know you lied
And right to my face

you are my sweetest downfall
i loved you first
beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
i have to go
your hair was long when we first met.

you left me with your child
alone, aching
he doesn't deserve to be abandoned
much like me

fuck you.

December 02, 2006

It's been a long time since I posted last. About 7 months! Crazy...

I'd like to say a lot has been going on, but really everything is about the same.

Miles turns 9 months old in a few days. He is getting so big! He had a slight overdosing problem when he was six months old...when he was fixed the vet gave him pain medication which he got into when he was home alone for 5 minutes. Long story short, he had his stomach pumped...the next day he started bleeding out internally and we almost lost him. But he is doing well now, recovered fully and is a 100% crazy pooch!

Jim moved in around the beginning of June. So far the transition has gone pretty well. We don't fight that much...the occassional headbutt because we also work together now. But other than that it's going great. He is the missing piece to my puzzle, glad I finally found it! The other roommates have their own thing, and we have ours. It works, but sometimes I still miss them.

I met my soulmate in March but we didn't get really close until the end of June. Her name is Christy. She is my best friend. She is equally as crazy as I am which keeps me on my toes. I can't say enough good things about her really. We started my dreads in June, finished in July and anyone who is willing to spend 35 hours elbow deep in my hair deserves a medal of some sort.

On the dreads issue...they look fantastic!! After a few months of awkwardness, they seem to be calming down and heading in the right direction. In another 5-6 months they will actually look like dreads and i can't wait!

In a roundabout sort of way I'm really coming into my own. I'm finally doing a lot of stuff for me, while still doing a lot for other people. I'm not reliant on anyone, I can hold my own quite well. I finally have a hair style that fits my personality. I know now what my ppersonality is, and I can understand myself better now. I have two new amazing tattoos that sum up my morals, and I had the guts to make it permanant, which is huge. I'm getting better at loving who I am, what I look like and how I feel. I'm not there 100% but I'm making great progress. I'm proud to say that when someone meets me they know what I stand for, what I believe in because I actually know. It's a great feeling.

I'm not in school right now. I'm trying really hard to get my head above water financially and going to school wasn't helping me. So instead of stressing about schoolwork I am systematically tackling one bill at a time and getting rid of it. So when I am in a place where I can go back to school I won't have to work as much just to make ends meet, and maybe I can spend a little more time hitting the books instead of going to work.

So all in all, I'm doing well. Wish I was farther along in my life plan, but hey...I've got my whole life and I have to do it how I feel comfortable. Which is what I'm doing.

Right now I'm going to bed with a dog snoring in one ear and my favorite boy snoring in the other. I am truly happy.