Spring is coming!!

That means daffidols will be popping up. Robins finally come home. Cars get wicked dirty. The fun starts again!!

I love spring.

ahh, spring with dreads. could it get any better.

tonight jon and i are getting cab drunk. yippee! maybe i'll post while i drunk..that might be fun:)

It’s day three…

I can already finish his sentences.

I can already tell what he is going to say before he says it.

He can already tell when I want to smoke.

He can already tell when I need to talk about something, or when I just want to be..there..with him.

He already wants me around him.

I already want him around me.

I woke up one morning, did my normal routine. I went out, had a beer and my life as I know it, changed.

He already invited me over.

He already fell..

I’m already falling

Hard.

i'm lying next to someone who is pretty incredible...

i will never look at a maglite the same again..

heard some stories tonight..interesting

hooked up with some of my friends from high school tonight that i haven't seen in a long time. hanging out at ryan's having a pretty good time.

valentine's day. ryan was my valentine and i bought him beer. haha..it's okay though

things may be looking up.

we'll see

a clean slate...
a new template...
posts always start out that way. a gleaming white box just staring at me, wondering what words of wisdom or words of bullshit I'm going to fill it with. I'm not sure which tonights is going to be. I want to write to uplight but sometimes I don't feel high enough.
my mood is hard to explain. so many emotions, not enough time.
I feel on top of the world when I talk to him. I feel complete..I don't feel the aching.
I feel lower than dirt when I walk into my house and realize my mother and I aren't talking. I want to talk to her but the need to sacrifice my emotions to better suit her needs isn't there anymore. I dig deep...but there's nothing. I suppose I should put on the face I always have, be the daughter that does no wrong just to get along with mommy. But when does that stop? When do you say, enough is enough? Stop this and become who you really are? I don't have the answer. I don't think I ever will.
I feel alive when I'm with Ryan. Someone loves me, cares about me. Someone just lets me be me. No questions.
I feel trapped in a place where I was once carefree and independant. Now I find I'm chewing on the ropes holding me back and I'm not getting very far.
I'm happy, overall. I crave change but I know my limits.
I need a hug.
I need a cow kiss.
I need a pearl jam concert.
I need things to feel alive and it's about time I get my ass off this computer chair and do it. The only one in control of my destiny is me.
I love peace...

happy valentine's day to everyone...to that person that used to give me wildflowers, to that person who will hold my hand this year while i cry.

If anyone out there can provide me with some inspiration and determination, I would greatly appreciate it! I'm tapped out.

"You think I'm always making something out of nothing.
You're saying everything's okay.
You've always got a answer before I ask the question.
Whatever you say."

i know that you can hear me...but i'm not sure you're listening.

Okay so tell me the reasoning behind parents. I have finally got my shit together and figured out what I want to do about school. I figured out everything by myself this time..financial, etc. I'm actually pretty proud of myself. I showed my mom some stuff this evening that I found out. Some classes that I'm pretty excited about and all she said was...I don't think you realize what you are getting yourself into. No congrats for figuring it out. No excitement for me going back to school. Just the feeling like I can't do it. Thanks a lot guys. I really appreciate it. Thanks for the help. Thanks for the support.

I am sick and tired of living at home!!! Can you tell?