this guy named charlie likes me. he even asked me out on a date. i have found myself drooling over my friend josh. he works at borders. he is everything i am. not to mention a joy to hang out with. he is perfect. if only asia wasn't in the picture. if only i didn't find myself thinking about gabe every two seconds. why is it, that when i don't want to be with anyone, they all come running. i know if i wait until i'm ready, no one will be there. i don't know what to do. should i tell josh? should i go out with charlie on a date? should i tell rod that we can try another date. should i tell jovany that i'm willing to try. should i tell nick that i have always loved him and let's give it another shot? should i just become a lesbian? why does this happen to me now when all i really want to do is walk down the street and throw rocks at gabe's window to wake him up. have him invite me in, and then sleep...with the comfort i had before. why does this happen now when all i want to do is have gabe take me in his arms and never let me go. charlie, josh, jovany, rod, nick, or gabe. why is it, that the one i want, doesn't want me back? life's a bitch.